May 23, 2011

Christianity... the thingy that started because of "the Lord". Listen to this:

There was this girl: Mary. She was a Virgin.

There was this old guy. Joseph, who was a carpenter. He was interested in this virgin of the town.

Mary did not fancy old guys.

Mary was in love with someone else: a handsome Roman Centurion, she called: "the Lord". One night She fooled around with her beloved and... what do you expect?  She got knock up!

She is now in deep shit. If her parents know about it, she will be shunned. What she would do to avoid that? 

Well, she did the same thing today’s girls, in such traditional societies, do: lie through their teeth. Invent a story.

She knew this old guy is interested in her and he would accept any lie in order to get this young cutie. So she comes up with this story:

Mary: I'm pregnant! ... It was the lord! The holy spirit told me (through an angel) that I'm going to have the Messiah! I definitely did not ever fool around with anyone, especially with that hot Roman Centurion who was in the pub a couple weeks ago.

Joseph: but if I take you in, would you have sex with me?

Mary: After I give a virgin birth, because the Messiah cannot be "polluted" while in my womb.

Joseph: Ok. As long as I get "some" later on. 

And the Lord said "Damn, that Joseph is the most gullible tool on the whole freaking planet."

And there you have it! Mary fucked around, then invented a Story. Joseph in order to "keep face" with the town's people, said that it was true! it was the lord! and the messiah was coming.

So, it came to be, that a boy was born and was called Jesus. And as some of the town's people did believed in Mary's story, he was viewed as a savior and that made things easier for him to later on sell his speech and become a religious "figure" of his time. A revolutionary man, who wanted to change traditional worshiping and undermine Rome's authority over Palestine occupied territories.

The Romans who did not take lightly any bullshit. Caught him and executed him for questioning authority. His followers in order to "save face" said it was voluntary. That He died to wash our sins!

Praise the "lord"!!!!

Wait! There was a group of people in town, that did not believed in Mary's story... yeah…, the JEWS, those guys do not believe in any bullshit either. That is why, Today, they control the world finances and many other things. ...they are still waiting for their messiah.

Not one who came form a "virgin" mother. They are waiting for a messiah from a more "experienced" one.

The good thing out of all this?

Joseph, at last! got his wish.

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