Based on a discussion I had with Indhira (MoreIceCreamPlease) and Belkys (both my cousins), and having committed, (early today) the sin of “meterme en lo que no me importa” I have decided to use some of the words of that discussion to remind myself that I should not be a “bad, bad, boy”, and keep my big mouth shut, in the presence of idiocy.
One of my dear cousin is of the thought, that “even though people usually say they are not offended by unwelcome comments about their personal lives, to the extent of excusing the behavior of those uttering such comments on the basis that they love you, that is not the way to show love: so because I love you, I can criticize your appearance? It is insensitive, tactless and socially unacceptable”.
Gonig further to speculate: “What is this, a family thing or a Dominican thing? Does love act like the LOL acronym by softening the insults? (Refer to Indy's blog, "LOL!: The duct tape of online conversation") If a person doesn't have anything nice to say without being insincere, he/she should not say anything at all. A simple "Good to see you!" would suffice.
My other cousin retort saying “I guess that's a dominican thing: either you take the insult, or you're labeled as overly sensitive (or is it really a family thing? Ummm...)”
It never crosses people's minds that some things they say can actually be hurtful. Perhaps you could get away with it the first time, But it will come the time that they over do it and it really push the going tired button of our patience.
I, personally, usually point out close friends an family members' mistakes and lack of tact. When is done to me (by the same people) I just inform them (if need be), that I am fine; and their point was dully noted but ignored.
I have spoken to you all, on things that might have been on the edge of meddling on your personal lives. I apologize for that and hope you've got the fact, that I was not judging but triggering your interest in self reviewing something unbecoming to you or my image of you (how egotistical!).
I also hope that you understand my lack of tact as being motivated by love rather than just "morbo Dominicano or Paulinesco".
Those comments coming from other than the people mentioned here and who have gone beyond mere comments and become judgmental or critical, are just ignored or worse, answered.
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